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skadji

skanunydji is the later, 2001 version of this poem.


Here is one of the poems called 'skadji' or 'Color-Desire'.

le rozgu .a lo zgike be sekai
The rose, or all music like it
leri kamyxunre ba lunra
in redness, will turn moonlike
xarnu nundunra ri'a .ia
stubborn winter because of, so I believe,
do .e ledo darno logji
you and the aloof logic of yours.

.icu'u le pu me do {ku}
As said by the you of past
ko fi mi ca cusku fe leiva
say now to me those
smaji valsi noi mi ke'a
soft words, which I
pujeca .iecai na natfe
then and now - Oh yes - do not deny

na'emu'i rolei jitfycipra
in spite of all the proofs against...

 


Comments:

(Setting aside the concrete nature of Lojban and accepting the
unmarked figurative usage)

le rozgu ba nundunra the rose will be an event-of-winter, the rose will turn winter

Took me a while to find an English expression for this. I rather
like this - and stating that all rosa music turns into winter...
I vacillated here between 'a' and 'all' but finally chose 'all'.
The original was missing the be.

kamyxunre replaced the obviously outdated rafsi kaz

lunra xarnu something moving with the inevitability of the Moon in its orbit

.icu'u the original had .isecu'u

le pu me do {ku} the me was missing, ku is elidable

na(bo) natfe removed the unparseable {bo}

na'e mu'i replaced the erroneous na with na'e

The second verse is an example of a sentence where {fi/fe} seem to
be almost unavoidable. I might, however, consider

caku tecu'u mi ko cusku leiva ...
{ko fi mi ca cusku fe leiva...}

as an alternative to avoid the mental juggling which distracts
the reader from the flow of the poem.

The structure cu'u le pu me do ko cusku... is quite clever and
nicely ambiguous. The past you and the imperative you are
speaking/ougth to speak simultaneously in a way very difficult
to convey satisfactorily in English.

veion

----

The original by Michael Helsem from ''le pamai jbopemci cukta
ci'a la maiky'elsym''

le ROZgu .A lo ZGIke SEkai
The rose,or a music with
LEri KAzyXUNre ba LUNra
its redness, will be lunar-
XARnu nunDUNra RI'a .IA
stubborn in its winterhood, because of (I believe)
DO .e LEdo DARno LOGji
you & your distant logic.

.IseCU'u LE pu DO ku
As said by you before,
KO fi MI ca CUSku fe LEIva
again say to me those
SMAji VALsi NOI mi KE'a
soft words that i
puJEca .IEcai NAbo NATfe
then & nowyes!don't deny

naMU'i ROlei JITfyCIPra
in spite of all the disproofs...

 


Created by admin. Last Modification: Saturday 03 of September, 2005 07:36:44 GMT by rlpowell.