History: skadji

Preview of version: 2

skanunydji is the later, 2001 version of this poem.


Here is one of the poems called 'skadji' or 'Color-Desire'.

le rozgu .a lo zgike be sekai

The rose, or all music like it

leri kamyxunre ba lunra

in redness, will turn moonlike

xarnu nundunra ri'a .ia

stubborn winter because of, so I believe,

do .e ledo darno logji

you and the aloof logic of yours.

.icu'u le pu me do {ku}

As said by the you of past

ko fi mi ca cusku fe leiva

say now to me those

smaji valsi noi mi ke'a

soft words, which I

pujeca .iecai na natfe

then and now - Oh yes - do not deny

na'emu'i rolei jitfycipra

in spite of all the proofs against...


Comments:

(Setting aside the concrete nature of Lojban and accepting the
unmarked figurative usage)

le rozgu ba nundunra the rose will be an event-of-winter, the rose will turn winter

Took me a while to find an English expression for this. I rather
like this - and stating that all rosa music turns into winter...
I vacillated here between 'a' and 'all' but finally chose 'all'.
The original was missing the be.

kamyxunre replaced the obviously outdated rafsi kaz

lunra xarnu something moving with the inevitability of the Moon in its orbit

.icu'u the original had .isecu'u

le pu me do {ku} the me was missing, ku is elidable

na(bo) natfe removed the unparseable {bo}

na'e mu'i replaced the erroneous na with na'e

The second verse is an example of a sentence where {fi/fe} seem to
be almost unavoidable. I might, however, consider

caku tecu'u mi ko cusku leiva ...
{ko fi mi ca cusku fe leiva...}

as an alternative to avoid the mental juggling which distracts
the reader from the flow of the poem.

The structure cu'u le pu me do ko cusku... is quite clever and
nicely ambiguous. The past you and the imperative you are
speaking/ougth to speak simultaneously in a way very difficult
to convey satisfactorily in English.

veion

----

The original by Michael Helsem from ''le pamai jbopemci cukta
ci'a la maiky'elsym''

le ROZgu .A lo ZGIke SEkai

The rose,or a music with

LEri KAzyXUNre ba LUNra

its redness, will be lunar-

XARnu nunDUNra RI'a .IA

stubborn in its winterhood, because of (I believe)

DO .e LEdo DARno LOGji

you & your distant logic.

.IseCU'u LE pu DO ku

As said by you before,

KO fi MI ca CUSku fe LEIva

again say to me those

SMAji VALsi NOI mi KE'a

soft words that i

puJEca .IEcai NAbo NATfe

then & nowyes!don't deny

naMU'i ROlei JITfyCIPra

in spite of all the disproofs...

History

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Sat 03 of Sep, 2005 07:36 GMT rlpowell from 64.81.49.134 3
Sat 03 of Sep, 2005 07:18 GMT rlpowell from 64.81.49.171 2
Fri 30 of Nov, 2001 12:31 GMT admin from admin created from phpwiki import 1
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