History: skadji

Source of version: 3 (current)

((skanunydji)) is the later, 2001 version of this poem. ---- Here is one of the poems called 'skadji' or 'Color-Desire'. ~pre~ __le rozgu .a lo zgike be sekai__ The rose, or all music like it __leri kamyxunre ba lunra__ in redness, will turn moonlike __xarnu nundunra ri'a .ia__ stubborn winter because of, so I believe, __do .e ledo darno logji__ you and the aloof logic of yours. __.icu'u le pu me do {ku}__ As said by the you of past __ko fi mi ca cusku fe leiva__ say now to me those __smaji valsi noi mi ke'a__ soft words, which I __pujeca .iecai na natfe__ then and now - Oh yes - do not deny __na'emu'i rolei jitfycipra__ in spite of all the proofs against... ~/pre~ ----- Comments: (Setting aside the concrete nature of Lojban and accepting the unmarked figurative usage) ''le rozgu ba nundunra'' the rose will be an event-of-winter, the rose will turn winter Took me a while to find an English expression for this. I rather like this - and stating that all rosa music turns into winter... I vacillated here between 'a' and 'all' but finally chose 'all'. The original was missing the ''be''. ''kamyxunre'' replaced the obviously outdated rafsi ''kaz'' ''lunra xarnu'' something moving with the inevitability of the Moon in its orbit ''.icu'u'' the original had ''.isecu'u'' ''le pu me do {ku}'' the ''me'' was missing, ''ku'' is elidable ''na(bo) natfe '' removed the unparseable {bo} ''na'e mu'i'' replaced the erroneous ''na'' with ''na'e'' The second verse is an example of a sentence where {fi/fe} seem to be almost unavoidable. I might, however, consider ''caku tecu'u mi ko cusku leiva'' ... {''ko fi mi ca cusku fe leiva''...} as an alternative to avoid the mental juggling which distracts the reader from the flow of the poem. The structure ''cu'u le pu me do ko cusku...'' is quite clever and nicely ambiguous. The past you and the imperative you are speaking/ougth to speak simultaneously in a way very difficult to convey satisfactorily in English. veion ------------ The original by Michael Helsem from ''le pamai jbopemci cukta ci'a la maiky'elsym'' ~pre~ __le ROZgu .A lo ZGIke SEkai__ The rose,or a music with __LEri KAzyXUNre ba LUNra__ its redness, will be lunar- __XARnu nunDUNra RI'a .IA__ stubborn in its winterhood, because of (I believe) __DO .e LEdo DARno LOGji__ you & your distant logic. __.IseCU'u LE pu DO ku__ As said by you before, __KO fi MI ca CUSku fe LEIva__ again say to me those __SMAji VALsi NOI mi KE'a__ soft words that i __puJEca .IEcai NAbo NATfe__ then & now--yes!--don't deny __naMU'i ROlei JITfyCIPra__ in spite of all the disproofs... ~/pre~